“Mary, did you know?” is one of my favorite songs. Did she know what her baby boy was destined for? Did she know how her, “Yes, Lord,” would resound through the ages? Did she know?
I wonder that today about folks around me. I wonder, “Do they know how much they have touched my heart?” Do they know that some of the simplest acts they extend to me reach to the depth of my heart and soul?
I think they don’t.
How could they unless they understand the horror of my childhood?
To understand is to have lived it and I am thankful they haven’t.
Yet they know some, and in that knowing they show and give me so much. Often unknown to them.
So it was today.
A hug, a kiss upon my cheek and an, “I love you,” that, totally took me by surprise. Stopped me in my tracks as I looked in wonder at him.
Simple everyday acts to most, so amazing to me.
You see, my earthly father is dying soon. I have been confounded by this, confused in how I feel. Sad at times, for what should have been as a daughter, while empty at others because of what was that shouldn’t have been. Mostly I simply accept that he is passing as all humanity does and I pray that God grant him mercy.
Then today, someone who is a Father to my friend, treated me with the dignity a father should a daughter.
I am proud of myself that I don’t feel all like I am his daughter, that was a struggle for me in the past. The overwhelming desire to claim someone for my Father and Mother.
No, this is different.
I simply cry at the way it felt to feel safe in a father figures arms, safe in the world, loved right, mattering as someone not something.
I feel as though I can’t say this right, I do know, I feel it right.
It is as though it is an it’s alright your daddy is leaving, others here and now, your family of God, we have you.
We will keep you
We will love you
And we will give it all with Christ like love
And as love is meant to be