When There Aren’t Enough Memories

downloadThere simply aren’t enough memories these days.

Or maybe just not new enough ones.

I cry so much in the longing for a touch.

Gentle and seeing.

Given out of love, just for me, just because.

I tend to cling to memories of just such given in the past.

Savor them.

Recall them in my times of loneliness.

Thing is I am realizing this is a coping technique from my past that God is moving me beyond.

A good thing but oh so hard.

So much emotions.

So many tears.

I know memories are good but they have been more of a band aid for me.

This is the truth that I am learning through this quarantine time.

Finding the depths of the feelings from then I have hid from.

I crave a touch.c20f60b882e2a79d80dc3251b1ed0e43

Someone to see me.

To hug.

The gentleness of a hair brushed aside.

To share space with another.

A smile to send and receive that is full of so much more than just the smile.

To know I am not alone while surrounded.

I am not doing it well,

But I am trying,

Oh, so hard,


To rest in God’s holding.

To feel His hand upon me.

May my tears be cleansing,

As He separates then from now.

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