I seem lost on the vast see of self.
Wave tossed of my emotions.
Floundering in the tears of what is gone.
Drowning
Or so it seems at first.
I am finding emotions are not as much to be feared as I thought, or think. For as I allow myself to feel them, in all their tears and turmoil, they finish.
Sated at least for a while.
My ocean of tears to calm, even me in a sense.
The losses to settle at least til the next storm arises.
Sometimes the sorrow is gentle waves of smiling remembrances of what is gone.
The beauty of smiles sent my way, simply sitting side by side.
Holding hands while praying and perhaps finding a hug is mine this day.
My tears mixed,
Part of what was given to help me process the loss of what was never there.
A gifted having now to heal the child’s missed out.
So I am thankful for these feelings,
Grateful for my loss
As it serves it’s purpose
Finding I am not drowning.
Floundering yes,
But it’s OK
Cause as always
My Abba is here
Keeping me afloat
My life-ring of love.
elsewherebygrace 