Abba has been speaking so loudly to me these last days.
What began as a quiet urging of my inner me to spend more time with Him, to come back to my First Love has blossomed to a return to soaking myself in His Word and presence, oh so deeply. He reminded me of the hand of hope He was in the beginning of this, my journey of healing.
Times when I would steal alone awhile, in the early morning hours, to my church to sit before the stain glass window and bare my soul to Him as the sun rose. How I felt it to the depth of my soul even as the splendor of the sunrise illuminated the window so did the Son my soul.
The ecstasy of my relationship with my Lord and Savior then….
One I desired again, now.
Where had it gone? Nowhere, for Abba didn’t step away from me, I had from Him. From keeping Him foremost each and every day.
I bow my head in shame even as I lift it in gratitude.
I am so thankful that our God pursues us. I am overwhelmed at the depth of His grace and mercy. I am awestruck that He loves me so much that He pursued me, yet again. Held out His hand that we walk not just side by side, but hand in hand as one.
He is my hand of hope always, not just then, I was the one to let go. To run off on my own content with glimpses of Him in the far off. To miss out on so much in so doing!
Abba is such a loving Father, I wasn’t the one keeping my eye on Him like I thought. He was the one watching me, ensuring I didn’t get lost, allowing me to wander in my freedom of choice even as He yearned to hold me close.
To guide me forward.
Now is the time He is telling me.
Time to move on, to the Woman of God His transforming power has and is making of me. To free my inner child to grow, to turn from the past to now.
So, here I am, in the present.
The festering of abuses wounds purified, that only the scars remain, a visible sign of triumph over evil.
Ready, willing, and able by the power of God…
to go where He would have me to go…
to say what He would have me to say…
to be all He would have me to be.
“Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish! We don’t play the major role. If we did, we’d probably go around bragging that we’d done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.”
The Message (MSG)
Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson