FEARING FEAR

Found this older writing today, needed it, fear still so present at times. Thank you, Father. for this writing, please help me to put it into practice. Amen”

elsewherebygrace

Yes, I have that title written right.

I realized this morning, when I woke quivering with fear, that it is the fear itself that I fear most.

Think on our journey of healing, how much fear is a part of it.

We go to counseling fearful, we face our memories fearful, we go through our days fearful of someone or something being a trigger, we journey in fear.

We live, breathe and eat fear. Why wouldn’t we, for it was our bread and water out abusers fed us on. How many times was a hand raised in abuse not only to rain down upon us but to elicit that fear. I can still see the smile my fear would bring to my abusers face. The way my fear fed her twisted need. I was groomed in so many ways in my abuse, groomed to provide, to serve, to yield, to…

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